My son is now 22 months. Apparently that is the magical age where now EVERYONE asks when we plan on having another. This is annoying to me. Very very very annoying. (So if you are reading this, and you have asked me this question, please don't do it again.) I know that I have asked many people myself if they are planning more children soon or when they want to get pregnant again. I think that it's a safe topic for moms with children, it's a common topic of conversation. I've come to realize though that this question is usually asked without tact and that's probably why I feel a little annoyed about it.
"When are you going to try for another?" Who says I'm not trying? Well, for anybody reading this, I'm not. BUT, you never know when you ask someone if they might be trying without luck. I have used this and that might make me a bad person, using someone else's misfortune to get people off my own back. "I am trying, God just must not love me" and then run off head in hands, fake tears and all. That will certainly get them to leave you alone.
"Aren't you afraid your child will be spoiled, being the only child and all?" You must over-estimate me in many ways. First off, I am not rich enough to be able to spoil my child. Secondly, my child gets hand me downs and used stuff that hardly leaves an impression in the fashion world. Sure he gets all my attention, but it's safe to say I spend enough time in my own world (combine housework, with occasional laziness, with my part time job) to force him to interact with others or himself. He hardly gets 100% of me all day, every day, as it is with any child and parent. And since I know he isn't my one and only, I am not forced to overindulge him, which I could see myself doing if I knew this was my one chance to make the best kid. For now, I can at least sleep at night knowing that if I fail or mess up this one, I still have another shot.
"Don't you just want to go through all those baby stages again?" Sometimes, I could honestly answer that with a "no". Sometimes, even a big "HECK NO!" Baby spit up grosses me out, I have been peed on enough to last me a lifetime, my hips are still yelling at my for the 9 months I spent with my first, and sometimes babies, even though they are ridiculously sweet and adorable and tiny, scare the living heebie jeebies out of me. I found myself constantly second guessing every decision I had to make. Bottle or breast, cloth or disposable diapers, pacifier or no pacifier, co-sleep or sleep in own bed, and all those other battles that every mom out there can relate to.
Maybe it's just a reason for moms to compare how fertile they are. Ha. I'll take last place in that competition please!!! I could live without ever being called "Fertile Mertile".
I will have another child. Someday, and maybe even soon. But it will be done in my time, when it works for my family. I suppose anyone can keep on asking if they want. But I promise, I will let you know when I'm pregnant, and it won't be just because you asked me first.